Of Animagi and Kneazles
by A Heretical Bacchant
Summary: Late at night, bestial love brews at Hogwarts.


**Note:** This story should be called "Moaning Minerva and her Purring Pussy." Please mentally substitute this title for the one above.

**Warning:** This is a McGonagall/Crookshanks fic w/ straight up lemon extract, no corn syrup or artificial sweeteners.

**Trigger Warning:** If you have experienced any sort of emotional, physical, or socio-economic trauma associated with steamy cat on cat action, and are now suffering from PTSD, then this story could very well trigger said trauma. Be careful. –A.H.B.

Minerva was rubbing up against the cool stone wall, whipping her tail back and forth as she mewled in need. She elevated her hindquarters which were swaying enticingly as she made her way down the hall. She was in heat. Oh, dear Merlin, why couldn't Filch's cat be a man? A big, strong man that would take her roughly and pump her full of—oh, her pussy ached just thinking about it. She dropped to her side and twisted around, licking herself.

If she wasn't transformed then a tongue may have sufficed. But she craved cock. She rolled around on her back and batted her paws playfully up into the air, as if trying to flirt with some invisible mate. She was shameless. She was horny. She rolled over onto her feet and alertly looked around. Nothing here. She sprinted through the halls, leaping down and across staircases, her nose twitching endlessly. Finally, she stopped around Gryffindor tower. She smelled something.

From inside, she heard a hiss and a scratching. The Fat Lady woke up. "What's that, dearie? You want out? Well, alright." The portrait swung open a bit and a large orange cat slipped out. The Fat Lady closed the entrance and resumed her rest.

The two cats took each other in. Minerva recognized him. Crookshanks. But he looked different when she was transformed. Before, when she had seen him, she had thought him ugly and wondered why anybody would keep such a pet. Now, his squashed face looked handsome and his bulk gave him an intimidating and strong demeanor. A desirable mate. She turned around and walked away, each swish of her tail revealing then hiding her dripping sex. She looked over her shoulder at him and purred out an invitation.

Crookshanks trotted forward, circling her, and giving occasional licks to her sleek, black, fur. She mewled out in pleasure and rolled on the floor. He pounced and mounted her, snarling in her ear before taking the back of her neck into his mouth and pushing her face into the floor. He put his paws on her shoulders and slid her backwards into his erect member.

She let out a loud purr as he slid inside her and she moaned as he picked up speed. She felt every single one of his powerful thrusts resonate all throughout her body, and she became increasingly aware that she was pinned underneath him. She shivered as he bit harder into her neck. He slowed his movements but increased their intensity. Then, she felt him squirt inside of her. She sighed with contentment as her womb was filled. Crookshanks sniffed, pulled out of her, and walked off indifferently.

Minerva reverted to human form and stood at her full height, entirely nude. Small tits with erect nipples. A flat stomach. Smooth, creamy skin. Two muscular legs; one with semen dripping down the inside. Her beautiful body belied the age that her face often revealed, and still the post-coital glow made her appear decades younger than usual. She transformed into the cat again and scampered away, deep in thought. _That beautiful specimen thinks he can just screw me and that's that? No way. He'll be back. And I'll make him fall for me. Hard. _

[BREAK]

**A Bit Over Two Months Later:**

Harry and Hermione were in the Great Hall, eating their lunch. Hermione was just poking at her chicken with a fork, sniffling with puffy, red eyes.

"Hermione, what's wrong? Is it Crookshanks again?" He asked, knowing full well that it was.

"He just disappears," said Hermione, "I don't know where he goes, but I barely see him anymore and I'm just worried sick. I just know somebody's gonna steal him." She stabbed at her eggs emphatically and murmured, "I just know it."

Harry had to physically restrain himself from pointing out that nobody would want to steal such an ugly creature. He internally repeated his mantra for dealing with Hermione: 'WWRND' or 'What would Ron not do?' "Don't worry. We'll figure it all out."

Hermione pouted and crossed her arms, fork still in hand. "Why don't you just use your stupid Maurader's Map to see where he goes?"

"Well, it only works on humans. It would be really confusing otherwise…"

"Crookshanks is a million times smarter than a lot of humans but the map works on them. That's what it should be based on. Sentience and intelligence, not species. It's prejudiced the way it is. The only beings that should be excluded are those who lack any sort of intellect, problem-solving skill, or self-awareness." She looked around her. "Speaking of, where is Ron?"

"He's in the infirmary," said Harry, "Malfoy hit him with that Slugulus Eructo charm. He bumped into Ron in the halls and didn't care for his response. Apparently, Malfoy takes great offense to being called an 'albino fuckwit.'" Harry shrugged his shoulders and stared off into the distance, pensively. "Who would've known?"

Before Hermione could come out with her inevitable declaration that _she_ would have known, the doors to the Great Hall slammed open and Ronald Bilius Weasely burst in, slime coating the front of his robes. "Everyone, come to the infirmary! You have to see this: McGonagall's having kittens!"

There was a small wave of laughter across the hall as a third year from Ravenclaw shouted out: "When is she not? Been a right bitch ever since she got preggers."

It wasn't until then that the students noted Severus Snape gliding swiftly towards the disturbance, with his preternatural way of walking creepily quick. He got up in Ron's green face and began to lecture. "What in Merlin's name is wrong with you, Weasely? Were you dropped on your head as a child? Did your mother smoke gillyweed when she was pregnant with you?" As Snape continued, he failed to notice Ron's cheeks bulging out and his eyes widening. "Are you high on moly? A week of detention and fifty points fro—" Ron projectile vomited a slug into Snape's open mouth. He rolled around on the floor choking, as Crabbe kicked him in the stomach and Goyle punched him in the throat, trying to dislodge it.

"No, guys, listen," Ron croaked, "I meant it _literally_…" He shivered and fell forward, passed out. A stunned silence permeated the room and everybody stopped what they were doing. Professor Snape, having been alleviated of his choking after the first blow, took the opportunity to crawl away, in an attempt to escape from the twentieth. A slug wormed its way out of Ron's semi-open mouth, pushing apart the lips.

Hermione sighed. "Oh, Ronald. He never did quite understand the concept of figurative language," she said loudly.

[BREAK]

Meanwhile, in the infirmary, Madame Poppy Pomfrey was dealing with a highly unusual situation. She was cradling two bundles in each arm. "Well, this is just great," she muttered, "I have a runaway patient and quadruplets that look like they've been in some freak polyjuice accident."

Minerva blushed a deep crimson. She wriggled a bit in her bed and looked sheepish. "Yeah, about that…"

"Please, Minerva. Please. I really don't want to know. Just let me run some tests to make sure that they're healthy. Spare me the bestial details." They were healthy. Two boys and two girls. They got their father's fur and their mother's nose.

[BREAK]

When she returned to her chambers, carrying her kittens with her in a little basket, she had a grin on her face and was crying tears of joy. "Honey, I'm home!" She shouted, as she walked through the door. She set down her babies on the bed, next to their father who purred with delight and began licking his lover's face. He began with the tears, then moved to her lips. She hummed in approval and opened her mouth, transforming just as his rough tongue met hers.

Nobody would approve of their relationship, and she would likely get removed from Hogwarts by the demand of angry and prudish parents. The children would grow to be humanoid, but covered in fur and with cat ears. They would be mocked and shunned as half-breeds. But, in that moment, Crookshanks and Minerva were happy. And they made each other happier than either had ever been or would have ever been without their love. And that made it all worthwhile.


End file.
